Self-limiting beliefs are the limits we set ourselves that often hold us back from what we want to achieve. Holding limiting beliefs is like having a glass ceiling over you. You may know what you would like out of life and what you want to achieve but you can only get as far as the limit you have in place.
You build your reality on the thoughts in your head so exactly what you think becomes your reality. What you believe you can achieve becomes what you actually do achieve.
You may crave for success or want to be the very best you can possibly be. You may wonder why, however much you try, you never get what it is you are reaching for.
Self–limiting beliefs are often so deeply ingrained that they are beneath your awareness. You may feel like you are the most driven and motivated person ever, but you can have deep rooted limiting beliefs that only let you get so far.
So where do self-limiting beliefs come from? How are they formed in the first place?
Often limiting beliefs develop in childhood. As a child, you were so open to learning and developing and you picked up and took on board everything you saw and heard. Children don’t have the type of thinking to make sense of and analyse things on a complex level so you took everything at face value.
If you are told you have done something bad, maybe that means you’re a bad person. If you are told that you are incapable of something, then maybe that is something you will never be able to do. Maybe you will never be able to achieve anything. If you weren’t loved properly, maybe you came to feel that it’s because you don’t deserve it. Maybe you don’t feel you deserve to be loved or to have nice things now? These messages can take root and develop into your identity and inform you of who you are and exactly what you can have and deserve to have. They form the glass ceiling that either keeps you stuck where you are or forces you into self-destruction or self-sabotage mode whenever you achieve something that is out of these self-imposed limits.
Self-sabotage can come in many different forms. It can often be a reaction to a deep-seated feeling that we don’t deserve something. It may manifest as destructive behaviour within a relationship, pushing away the very people you love and need because deep down you don’t feel that you are worthy of or deserve their love.
Self-sabotage can look like a fear of success. Yes, you want to be successful, don’t we all? But what is going on in your deepest thoughts. As well as having lots of positive hopes for being successful, it wouldn’t be surprising if there were some fears there too. Might someone or some people treat you differently if you were successful? Were your parents successful? Might you be betraying them if you were to have success? Do you feel like you actually deserving of success? Is it something that people like you are actually worthy of?
Your life script is your impression of how you feel your life should be. From a very early age you start to form a story of how your life will play out. You learn who you are and what part you have to play in the world. You learn how you fit in with others around you and pretty much what you can expect out of life. This process can begin at birth and by the age of around 12, you will have a pretty well drawn up life script of how you can expect your life to play out and of course, what your limitations are. This process happens mainly beneath the level of awareness and the script is etched in on a deep level.
You have your own life script inside you, with a whole set of self-limiting beliefs that were drawn up years ago. Realising this and starting to learn how your life script is holding you back is the beginning of smashing through those self-limiting beliefs.
Spend some time reflecting on what your life script says about your capabilities. Where is it holding you back? You created it in the first place so you can go back and edit it. In all the places where it says you will only have this or you will only achieve this, take away those limits. Replace it with empowering affirmations such as my capabilities are endless. I can be whatever and achieve whatever I want to. There are no limits on my success.
Affirmations are statements of intent. They are powerful messages of what you want, and they tell your subconscious mind what it is you truly desire. If practised often enough, they will replace the old, damaging self-limiting beliefs and give you the unlimited potential that you crave.
Maybe you could write the affirmations out in your journal or repeat them to yourself as much as you can. You could write the affirmations on sticky notes and post them all over where you will constantly be reminded. You could create a collage with pictures and images that represent your goals and use it to help you to have a clear image of what you want.
Affirmations and visualisations are great for fighting back against the self-limiting beliefs that hold you back. Start to visualise what it is you really desire. Feel and act as though you already have it and as though you are already there, and you will start to attract success into your life.
Once you realise what it is that has been holding you back, you can begin to replace those self-limiting beliefs with new and exciting no limits hopes and dreams.
Ryan Grey Counselling 